bitter is better

STORY OF MY LIFE. I have a terrible terrible habit of letting the past really effect my present and future. Every guy I've talked to since I was cheated on has had to feel the wrath of my clingy-ness and inability to trust any specimen of the male race. Thanks a lot past boyfriends. I mean, it's not the new guys fault that I am insecure, question every  little detail or that I just simply want to be the center of your world. That's not crazy, right? Definitely not. It's not the guys fault-I don't blame them- I wouldn't want to put up with me either. 

So why do I cling on to the past so tightly? Death grip would be an understatement. I just want to hold on to something that's real and have someone who doesn't care if I leave a few little scratch marks along the way. That really isn't too much to ask. 

 So basically, I gotta let go of the past. but that is way easier said than done. Especially when you are still emotionally falling for one of those "screw ups" from your past. I wish I could just simply move on from him. Forgive him and move on with my life. It's the only way I'll be able to have be happy in the future, but I just don't think I can let go. 
  
This post is COMPLETELY random, but I just had a visit from this certain someone-and mind you-he is in a very tricky situation in his life right now which should prevent me from wanting him even the slightest bit-but the story of my life. I want to fix everyone and  every problem in the world. I joke about saving every homeless person and orphan baby in the world. But joke or not-I'd do it if I could. 

Lesson learned tonight: forgive. get better not bitter.
Maybe someday I'll learn.. maybe.

xoxo
hopefully hopeless